"Your body is MY body"
Me: Extremely nervous to even ask her to do this interview for me I started out by telling her it's for school(hoping that would make it easier for her to answer).
Mom: "Ok what do you need from me?"
Me: "For this interview I need you to talk about my tattoo and your thoughts on it"
Mom: "So everyone in your class knows that you have a tattoo?!"(Definitely not happy about that)
Me: (Obviously got too nervous because it was clear she wasn't happy about that and lied) "No mom, only the teacher is looking at my work.."
Mom: "So what do you want me to say about it" definitely much more calm but still not happy that I chose this topic.
Me: "Can you tell me your views on my tattoo?" Trying to stay calm but already losing hope that she would be willing to talk about this.
Mom: "Areeta you already know how I feel about it and I don't like it"
Me: "I know but I just need it for my project" I wasn't entirely sure how she would react to this phone call but I thought maybe over time that she was going to be a little bit more relaxed about it since she realized that there is nothing to do about it but NOPE.
Mom: "Ok I don't like that you got it and I don't think it's necessary. I think that you could've gotten a necklace or something other than a tattoo to represent how you feel about an arrow."
Me: "Do you think that because you're older and it was less known in your generation for why you don't like it?"
Mom: "It was a big thing back in my time too and I think that if you're going to place something on your body like that then you should at least ask me before you do it."
Me: "It's not like you would've said yes.."
Mom: "Which is exactly why you shouldn't have gotten it. She was not having it with me and it was starting to get heated and I started getting too into the conversation to even stay on the topic
Me: "Ok you're being annoying can you just get over the fact that I have it?" I was getting really defensive and it was hurting my feelings that she was still as upset speaking about it as she was the last time that we spoke about my tattoo.
Mom: "If you live under my roof then you should learn to live under my rules"
Me: "Well mom, it is my body and I can do whatever I want to do with it"
Mom: "OHH so it's your body? Well if it's your body then it's your college and YOUR tuition so YOU pay for it. Your body is my body because I gave birth to you!"
At this point I was just so in the moment and so pissed at what she was saying that I couldn't even care about anything that had to do with this project and I decided that I would rather now have this conversation when it was doing nothing for me other than making me upset.
I called her back the following day→
Me: I decided to give her an attitude since I was still upset about the previous day, "Mom, can you actually just answer the questions that I'm asking you?"
Mom: "Yeah yeah ask me again." She was trying to be more open minded because she could sense that I was stressed about this project and that I was also really serious about it.
Me: "Why are you so opposed to a tattoo?"
Mom: "People who get tattoo's can be looked at as a bad person. A tattoo can be looked at in a negative way and most times in business, which is what you want to do, it's not looked at as a great thing. By having a tattoo, you're taking the chance that someone may not like it rather than just not having one and not having the risk. Also, if I'm your mother and I say no, you should listen to me because you still live in this house. Not only have you disappointed me and made me feel like I lost your trust, you've also done something that no one in this family has ever done before. I don't even know why you got it.."
Me: I was definitely upset hearing everything that she had to say about it because it's the worst thing to hurt the one person that I care about the most and I could've just waited until I was making a living but I guess at the time, I wasn't thinking about my consequences. "I understand everything that you are saying but would you like to know why I got it?"
Mom: "It doesn't really matter because you already have it but ok" She didn't seem as upset when I offered to tell her because I think she felt better that I was actually willing to tell her something and not going behind her back.
Me: "Well, I got it because I liked the symbolism of the tattoo. Basically an arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great."
Mom: I can hear that she is smiling as she said, "That's cool and I like that but it still doesn't mean that I'm ok with it!!"
Me: "I told you Mom, I'm not completely reckless. I knew you would like that."
Mom: "Still could've gotten a necklace" and she laughs softly.
Me: Wanting this to end on a good note, I ended the conversation because I didn't want to ask her any more questions that would make her upset . "Ok Mom this interview is over. I'll talk to you later. Love you."
Mom: "Study hard. Bye."
Mom: "Ok what do you need from me?"
Me: "For this interview I need you to talk about my tattoo and your thoughts on it"
Mom: "So everyone in your class knows that you have a tattoo?!"(Definitely not happy about that)
Me: (Obviously got too nervous because it was clear she wasn't happy about that and lied) "No mom, only the teacher is looking at my work.."
Mom: "So what do you want me to say about it" definitely much more calm but still not happy that I chose this topic.
Me: "Can you tell me your views on my tattoo?" Trying to stay calm but already losing hope that she would be willing to talk about this.
Mom: "Areeta you already know how I feel about it and I don't like it"
Me: "I know but I just need it for my project" I wasn't entirely sure how she would react to this phone call but I thought maybe over time that she was going to be a little bit more relaxed about it since she realized that there is nothing to do about it but NOPE.
Mom: "Ok I don't like that you got it and I don't think it's necessary. I think that you could've gotten a necklace or something other than a tattoo to represent how you feel about an arrow."
Me: "Do you think that because you're older and it was less known in your generation for why you don't like it?"
Mom: "It was a big thing back in my time too and I think that if you're going to place something on your body like that then you should at least ask me before you do it."
Me: "It's not like you would've said yes.."
Mom: "Which is exactly why you shouldn't have gotten it. She was not having it with me and it was starting to get heated and I started getting too into the conversation to even stay on the topic
Me: "Ok you're being annoying can you just get over the fact that I have it?" I was getting really defensive and it was hurting my feelings that she was still as upset speaking about it as she was the last time that we spoke about my tattoo.
Mom: "If you live under my roof then you should learn to live under my rules"
Me: "Well mom, it is my body and I can do whatever I want to do with it"
Mom: "OHH so it's your body? Well if it's your body then it's your college and YOUR tuition so YOU pay for it. Your body is my body because I gave birth to you!"
At this point I was just so in the moment and so pissed at what she was saying that I couldn't even care about anything that had to do with this project and I decided that I would rather now have this conversation when it was doing nothing for me other than making me upset.
I called her back the following day→
Me: I decided to give her an attitude since I was still upset about the previous day, "Mom, can you actually just answer the questions that I'm asking you?"
Mom: "Yeah yeah ask me again." She was trying to be more open minded because she could sense that I was stressed about this project and that I was also really serious about it.
Me: "Why are you so opposed to a tattoo?"
Mom: "People who get tattoo's can be looked at as a bad person. A tattoo can be looked at in a negative way and most times in business, which is what you want to do, it's not looked at as a great thing. By having a tattoo, you're taking the chance that someone may not like it rather than just not having one and not having the risk. Also, if I'm your mother and I say no, you should listen to me because you still live in this house. Not only have you disappointed me and made me feel like I lost your trust, you've also done something that no one in this family has ever done before. I don't even know why you got it.."
Me: I was definitely upset hearing everything that she had to say about it because it's the worst thing to hurt the one person that I care about the most and I could've just waited until I was making a living but I guess at the time, I wasn't thinking about my consequences. "I understand everything that you are saying but would you like to know why I got it?"
Mom: "It doesn't really matter because you already have it but ok" She didn't seem as upset when I offered to tell her because I think she felt better that I was actually willing to tell her something and not going behind her back.
Me: "Well, I got it because I liked the symbolism of the tattoo. Basically an arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great."
Mom: I can hear that she is smiling as she said, "That's cool and I like that but it still doesn't mean that I'm ok with it!!"
Me: "I told you Mom, I'm not completely reckless. I knew you would like that."
Mom: "Still could've gotten a necklace" and she laughs softly.
Me: Wanting this to end on a good note, I ended the conversation because I didn't want to ask her any more questions that would make her upset . "Ok Mom this interview is over. I'll talk to you later. Love you."
Mom: "Study hard. Bye."